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"This Affair is Over
Essential reading for any woman involved with a married man"
This Affair is Over, Take Back Your Life and End Your Affair with a Married Man. No judgments. No blame. Just the facts that will help to keep you from going back. Dr. Nanette Miner: Page 9
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described their on-going relationship as an affair, even
though she is no longer the "other woman." She believes the
word "affair" is the appropriate descriptor since Dan still
is not committed to her.
This Affair is Over!
During the course of their 17 year affair Brenda, had two
abortions and attempted suicide once. She tried to end the
affair a half dozen times, each time he won her back with
flowers or candy or jewelry. What really kept her there
however, was his declaration that he "needed her." Brenda
entered therapy for a year, attempting to deal with her
feelings of anger, anxiety, and loss of self esteem. Her
goals were to stop obsessing over him, stop talking about
him to all her friends, and to get him out of her life.
Over the course of her affair with Dan, Brenda was waiting
for the fairy tale to come true. She held on to threads of
hope, waiting for him to leave his wife. For all intents
and purposes, her fairy tale has come true, Dan and his
wife have split up; and yet...it's not the blissful outcome
Brenda expected. She realizes that she was in love with a
dream; that the Dan that she was in love with was largely a
part of her imagination. She has come to accept that the
real Dan is unable to provide her with the happiness she
longs for.
For the most part, women who enter into affairs with
married men do not believe they are entering into an
affair. Rather, they believe that they are entering into a
long term relationship. Sixty one percent of the women who
participated in the study had relationships over a year or
more; nearly 25% of these women were involved for five
years or more. What keeps these women bound to these men
for such an extended period of time? The hope
About Affairs
that he will leave his wife for her. The tidbits of hope
that are thrown her way, such as: "I wish you were my wife;
I found a lot we could build our house on; I want you to
have my children; She doesn't make me feel the way you make
me feel."
Believe it or not, in almost all cases, a man engaged in
an affair is not having an affair because of you, he's
having an affair for himself. It's not about you -it's
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