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"This Affair is Over
Essential reading for any woman involved with a married man"
This Affair is Over, Take Back Your Life and End Your Affair with a Married Man. No judgments. No blame. Just the facts that will help to keep you from going back. Dr. Nanette Miner: Page 8
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the lover exactly where she stands.
Christiana's many efforts to end the affair are not
uncommon. Affairs that continue for two or more years
typically require five or more attempts at ending the
affair before it is finally over. This should be a source
of encouragement. The "failure" you perceive in not being
able to end it, is simply a part of the process. Christiana
is representative of the women that took the initiative to
end their affairs. At some point, these women had had
enough. They were tired of the lies, no longer believed him
when he said he'd leave his wife (of the 53% of men who
told their girlfriends they would leave their wives -less
than 1% actually did), and, in general, the women were
tired of feeling used. One phrase heard over and over was
that the women felt they "had wasted too much time" on the
relationship.
Her story:
Brenda was involved with Dan for 17 years. Their affair
began when she was 20 and he was 34. Dan responded to a
police call to her home when some personal items had been
stolen. He admitted to Brenda that he entered into their
affair for purely selfish reasons. He had just discovered
that his wife was having an affair and he wanted to get
back at her. Brenda was coming out of a bad relationship
and welcomed the attention he showered on her. She felt
sorry for Dan and she wanted to protect him. Dan
consistently told her that he couldn't leave his wife until
his children were grown. When she offered arguments to this
excuse, he bolstered it by saying it would cost him too
much money, he was afraid he'd lose his job, he didn't want
to hurt his wife, and he was afraid of damaging his
reputation. Brenda, in an effort to protect Dan, went so
far as to talk with the police chief to ensure that Dan
would not lose his job!
Dan's wife found out about their affair during the second
month. She, like Joyce, chose to ignore the situation. When
the children were grown, she and Dan did divorce. However,
it was Dan's wife that filed for divorce and left him.
Brenda believes that Dan would never have divorced his
wife. Six years after the end of his marriage, Brenda
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