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"This Affair is Over
Essential reading for any woman involved with a married man"
This Affair is Over, Take Back Your Life and End Your Affair with a Married Man. No judgments. No blame. Just the facts that will help to keep you from going back. Dr. Nanette Miner: Page 7
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he would leave his wife and asked her to be patient. She
believed him each time. Meanwhile, Christiana's marriage to
Tim had ended. She maintains he never knew of the affair.
She does however, feel that her involvement with Walter
made her look for faults in her husband. Walter is still
married, even though Joyce knew of the affair. They now
have two children. Joyce, like many wives, chose not to
confront Walter or Christiana.
Although Christiana admits to still being consumed by pain
over the ending of the affair, she has come to accept it is
for the best. With distance and time, it became obvious to
Christiana that Walter has no respect for his wife, and no
respect for her either. She also feels that Walter will
never really leave his wife. A decade after the start of
their affair, Walter leaves the occasional voice mail
message and checks on her by contacting her friends.
Christiana entered therapy to deal with the pain of both
the ending of her marriage and the affair. She focused her
energies on her work and enjoyed success that she had not
had for nearly the last two years of the affair, while her
mind was preoccupied with her relationship with Walter. She
sums up her relationship with Walter by saying, "It was
full of deceit and lies and I couldn't stand living a
double life. I wanted to be with Walter, he was my first
choice, but I was his second choice. He always told me he
was waiting for his wife to divorce him. It was bad enough
he couldn't make a decision, but I couldn't wait around for
her to make a decision (about my life)."
Many of the women interviewed for this book shared stories
similar to Christiana's. The men in their lives made
promises about "their future" and asked for their lover's
patience and understanding
This Affair is Over!
of their "situation." Christiana's lover strung her along -
as many lovers do -promising her things he knew she wanted
to hear, but that he did not intend to deliver. While the
men who make these promises may believe they are making
their lover feel better, their actions speak louder than
their words. And in most cases it is inaction that tells
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