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"This Affair is Over
Essential reading for any woman involved with a married man"
This Affair is Over, Take Back Your Life and End Your Affair with a Married Man. No judgments. No blame. Just the facts that will help to keep you from going back. Dr. Nanette Miner: Page 5
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involved with a married man, know what you are getting in
to. Don't expect him to be
This Affair is Over!
faithful (if he's having an affair with you, faithfulness
is probably not in his vocabulary), don't expect him to
leave his wife, know that it (the relationship) is going to
end eventually.
Debra's case is similar to that of many women. Her
relationship with Frank began as a friendship, but grew to
something more during a time when Debra's self-esteem was
at a low. Debra generally respected the institution of
marriage and would never have planned to enter into a
relationship with a man that was married. The fact that
Frank countered her fears by assuring her that his marriage
was simply a convenience, enabled Debra to rationalize her
involvement with him. Frank never once told her that he
would leave his wife. Although at times she wished that he
would commit more fully to her, Debra knew that Frank was
content. A wife at home for the children and the "image" he
needed to maintain for work, and a girlfriend for fun times
and sexual pleasure.
Frank's contentment is a typical state for married men
involved in affairs. Although they will tell their lovers
that their home life is unbearable and they would leave
their wife "if only they could," in fact most men would
describe their marriages as happy, although lacking in a
particular area such as sexual fulfillment, excitement, or
passion. Most men involved in extramarital affairs are not
looking for something "better," they are merely looking for
something "different." A girlfriend is just the right
amount of different that they need.
Debra was lucky in that her lover was always honest about
his level of commitment to her and never made her promises
which he did not intend to keep.
Her story:
Christiana was not as lucky. Christiana was recently
married and had no intention of ever having an affair. She
worked in the same office with Walter and his fiance
Joyce. Walter was quite successful and well respected
within the company. Christiana and her husband Tim
frequently spent time with Joyce and Walter at company
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