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"This Affair is Over
Essential reading for any woman involved with a married man"
This Affair is Over, Take Back Your Life and End Your Affair with a Married Man. No judgments. No blame. Just the facts that will help to keep you from going back. Dr. Nanette Miner: Page 4
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life. Debra had recently discovered that her boyfriend was
cheating on her. She was stunned and saddened by the lack
of fidelity demonstrated by her boyfriend, and Frank was a
willing ear and comforting presence. Frank's agreement with
Debra's assertions that "men cannot be trusted," and "men
are only after one thing," made Debra believe that Frank
found the boyfriend's behavior appalling too. The more
Frank comforted her, the more Debra came to trust him and
have romantic feelings for him. One night they met for
drinks after work. Frank said he was concerned about her
ability to drive and offered to drive her home. They made
love in Debra's living room and he stayed until two in the
morning. Debra assured herself that the first time they
slept together was purely by accident. Debra certainly did
not set out to become romantically involved with Frank.
The next day, Frank called to see how Debra was feeling
and to tell her what a wonderful time he had had with her.
When she stated that she felt what they had done was wrong,
he assured her that his relationship with his wife was
purely a convenience for the children's sake, and that she
should not have any feelings of remorse since he did not.
So began a two and a half year affair. Their affair has now
been over for three years, but the pain and anger
resurfaces for Debra from time to time. In retrospect she
feels that his relentless pursuit overpowered her judgment
and that perhaps he had had the outcome planned from the
beginning. Although, at the time of their affair, Frank
made her feel as though she was the one good thing in his
life, she knows that he was not faithful to her during
their affair and that he had other affairs before and after
theirs. In fact, Frank finally ended the affair by telling
her that there was someone else. In 40% of the
relationships studied for this book, the man ended the
affair. Some of the reasons the men cited were: the wife
found out, he found someone else, or, when given an
ultimatum by his lover, he couldn't leave his wife. Debra's
words of advice are these: If you are going to become
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