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"This Affair is Over
Essential reading for any woman involved with a married man"
This Affair is Over, Take Back Your Life and End Your Affair with a Married Man. No judgments. No blame. Just the facts that will help to keep you from going back. Dr. Nanette Miner: Page 28
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had cancer); You don't understand how hard it is for me; I
can't go on without you; Life with my wife is intolerable."
All of these lines are a diversion in hopes of keeping you
with him. They are words of desperation. He will say
virtually anything in order to have his cake and eat it too.
If you are involved with a married man, remember this: he
is not committing to his wife, nor is he committing to you.
Stop enabling him. Stop reinforcing his behavior by staying
with him or taking him back after an attempt at ending the
relationship. Don't be desperate for this man's love. Do
not settle for the worst you can tolerate.
Actions speak louder than words. Yes, this is a clich,
but think about the implications. What is your lover doing
to improve your situation? Is he sleeping in a separate
room? Has he seen an attorney? Has he filed for divorce?
Has he moved out of his home with his wife? Has he told you
he's done these things, or do you know them to be true? Is
he making plans for a future with you? Less than 1% of the
survey respondent's lovers actually left their wives to be
with their lovers. In other words, 99% never took action.
In all the cases where the man and girlfriend ended up
together, the man took action to end his marriage in under
one year.
You cannot control your lover or his actions. You cannot
change him, nor expect him to change for you. Trying harder
to please him will not work. If he is truly miserable in
his marriage, he will take action to change his life. At
some level your lover is content with the way things are.
Contented people are not motivated to make a change in their
This Affair is Over!
life. Although the situation may seem intolerable to you,
if your lover is not working toward a change in his
circumstances, he is content with the status-quo.
Is your relationship based on fact or fantasy? If you are
motivated to regain control of your life, Chapter 5 will
provide you with positive actions to take.
Chapter 5
Getting Your Life Back in Order
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every
experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.
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