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"This Affair is Over
Essential reading for any woman involved with a married man"
This Affair is Over, Take Back Your Life and End Your Affair with a Married Man. No judgments. No blame. Just the facts that will help to keep you from going back. Dr. Nanette Miner: Page 26
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pain, years later. But, I think pain can bring about
growth. I know it won't be easy to get over him, but I know
that I have to do it."
Ginny, who is happy with the level of involvement in her
affair with Al, stated, "These women have to realize that a
married man cannot commit to you. If they are comfortable
with that thought, they can continue on in their affair. If
they can't handle that thought, then they need to find a
man that can commit."
Debra admits, "I'm not proud of what I did. I would never
do it again. Put yourself in the wife's position. What
would you think about a mistress? You'd think she was a
tramp. I'm not a tramp. I have more respect for myself than
that. I'm glad our affair is over. When I get married, I
hope my husband never cheats on me."
"I think my biggest mistake during my affair with Dan, was
believing that if he left his wife and came to me, all his
problems would be solved. And, I
This Affair is Over!
couldn't understand why he didn't see that too," said
Brenda. "He was so miserable with his wife, and I could
have made him so happy, yet he wouldn't leave her. I was
the one who didn't see the reality of the circumstances. I
used to ask him, 'what have you got to lose?' Now that I've
got perspective on the whole situation, I understand he had
everything to lose. His home, his children in some ways,
probably a lot of money, perhaps his family - no one in his
family had ever been divorced. Dan knew better. Dan knew he
would lose a lot by coming to me. He wasn't blinded by our
love, but I was! I know now that what was most important to
him wasn't our love, but maintaining his lifestyle. He
didn't want to rock the boat. And as long as I was content,
so to speak, to remain his girlfriend, he had no need to
change the situation."
After the Affair
The reasons women gave for ending their affairs were many,
and varied. Some common themes emerged, such as, "guilt;
tired of the lies (telling them or being the recipient of
them); I lost respect for him/myself; I realized he'd never
leave his wife;" and, "I deserved more/better."
Many women involved with married men are eventually dumped
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