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"This Affair is Over
Essential reading for any woman involved with a married man"
This Affair is Over, Take Back Your Life and End Your Affair with a Married Man. No judgments. No blame. Just the facts that will help to keep you from going back. Dr. Nanette Miner: Page 20
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equate love-making with love, while men equate love-making
with...sex. Sex is an act that most men are able to enter
into without a lot of emotional baggage. Conversely, most
women view sexual involvement as an extremely emotional
experience which is fraught with undertones of commitment
and promise, whether these words are actually spoken or not.
What is the most jarring realization for women and the
most difficult fact to accept -is that 99% of the married
men having affairs are not having an affair because of you.
They are having the affair for themselves. The affair fills
some void or psychological need that they are trying to
compensate for. In order to keep you with them, they tell
you that you are able to fulfill that part of them that is
missing. However, the reality is that if it were not you,
it would be someone else. This is substantiated by the fact
that most men involved in extramarital affairs have been
involved in more than one. As we stated earlier, a woman
will not find fulfillment with a married man -with any man -
if she is relying on someone else to fulfill her. The same
is true of your married lover. If he is running from
something, to you, he is not working toward finding
happiness within himself. You cannot provide it for him.
Affairs are based on deception, and deception is difficult
to sustain. The most obvious deception involves you and
your lover's wife. On the one hand, your lover has most
likely kept his affair with you a secret from his spouse.
In many cases where the spouse does know, she chooses to
overlook it. On the other hand, your lover has probably
told you that his wife is the "bad guy" -she hates sex,
they haven't slept together in months/years, she's
indifferent to his needs, and so on.
Her Story:
Amy and Brian were lovers for three years. Amy finally
came to the realization that Brian was not going to leave
his wife, and told Brian that their affair was over. A few
weeks later, Amy and Brian were attending the same party,
given by Amy's friend. Brian had been telling the friend
how much he missed Amy and the friend thought she would
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