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"This Affair is Over
Essential reading for any woman involved with a married man"
This Affair is Over, Take Back Your Life and End Your Affair with a Married Man. No judgments. No blame. Just the facts that will help to keep you from going back. Dr. Nanette Miner: Page 13
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"I told her I wanted a divorce, but she cried." We'll
combine this with," I don't want to hurt her." What about
you? You cry a lot. Why is he more willing to hurt you than
hurt his wife? What does this say about the way in which he
values your relationship with him?
"It will cost too much money." Kings have been known to
abdicate the throne for the woman they love.
"I can't leave because of my/her/parents health." Walter
told Christiana that he had a bad heart, and
If You Try Hard Enough, You Can Rationalize Anything
the stress of ending his marriage could prove fatal for
him! This is a classic guilt trip. He's got you so worried
that if someone dies it will be your fault (in a convoluted
way), how could you possibly deal with the guilt the rest
of your life?
"My reputation will be ruined." Very few men hide the fact
that they are having an affair from their buddies and co-
workers. Girlfriends are seen as trophies to be paraded
before the admiring group. Frequently the wife also knows
about the affair. Brenda stated that "the whole town knew"
of her affair with Brad. What reputation is he referring
to? Is he implying that it's OK to cheat, but it's not OK
to be divorced? And what about your reputation?
The most valid excuse that a man will offer is that he
cannot leave because of his children. While there are men
that leave their homes and children everyday, some men
cannot and will not do it. Again, this may only be an
excuse, but it will be difficult for you to determine if he
is sincerely committed to his children's welfare, or if it
is the excuse he is using because he knows it is the only
one which you will accept as valid.
It is true that when you step back and examine these lines
objectively, they are absurd. And yet, seemingly, women
continue to fall for them again and again. Part of this
stems from the fact that we naturally believe what our
loved ones tell us -why would they lie to us? And part of
the believing is
This Affair is Over!
due to the fact that we are desperate to believe that the
relationship is going somewhere.
In some cases, your lover is telling you exactly where you
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