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"This Affair is Over Essential reading for any woman involved with a married man"
This Affair is Over, Take Back Your Life and End Your Affair with a Married Man. No judgments. No blame. Just the facts that will help to keep you from going back. Dr. Nanette Miner: Page 12
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Our vacation (he and wife)
I've saved "x" amount of money
My wife files for divorce
Let's examine a few of these situations for validity.
"I'll leave after the holidays are over." Presumably he
doesn't want to ruin the holidays for his family.
If You Try Hard Enough, You Can Rationalize Anything
What about you? Doesn't he care that you'll be sitting
home alone during the holidays, missing him and wishing he
were there?
"I'll leave after our vacation is over." Does he intend to
show his family one last time how much he cares, and then
come home and dump them? How will a week on the beach, or
in the mountains, give him peace of mind?
"I'll leave after the baby is born." A misguided sense of
loyalty is at work here. Does he really believe his wife
will be grateful that he waited until after she had their
baby before leaving her?
"I'll leave when I've saved "x" amount of money," or "when
my loan is paid off." What do money and love have to do
with one another? How will having money saved make the
split any easier for him/his wife/you? Plenty of people are
deeply in love and deeply in debt.
"I'll leave her if you tell me to." A classic case of not
taking responsibility for one's own actions. In this case
he's able to blame you should anything go wrong, and he'll
forever be able to get what he wants from you by invoking
"look what I did for you." Are you willing to take
responsibility for his relationship with his wife and his
relationship with you?
Of those men that said they would not leave their wives,
the following excuses were given:
This Affair is Over!
She won't give me a divorce
I told her I wanted a divorce, but she cried
It will cost too much money (alimony, child support)
My family/her family
I'm afraid she'll commit suicide
I'll lose my job
Too many people will get hurt
I don't want to hurt her
Health (his/hers/parents/etc.)
My reputation will be ruined
My in-laws paid for....
The children
My religion
The age difference between us (you and he) is too great -
eventually you'll leave me
Let's examine a few of these excuses for validity.
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